i just had sex bonerless
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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