So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize