I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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