it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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