You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
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He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
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I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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