God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize