dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize