so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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