You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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