You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize