Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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