'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize