Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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