someone get that fucking seahorse.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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