before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
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Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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