that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize