I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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