u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I could fuck to npr.
I came so hard my ears popped.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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