Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
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He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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