quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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