apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
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