you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
So here I am, sexting at work.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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