Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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