sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize