are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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