I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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