I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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