I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
where does the pee come out of this thing
sarcasm needs its own font
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize