Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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