I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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