I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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