How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
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