3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize