Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He's a Shit stain on my heart
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
