Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
