Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
