Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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