The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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