a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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