how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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