There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We left the knife in your bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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