Barsexuality is the new black.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize