i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
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