i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
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