Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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