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I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
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