Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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