Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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