so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
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so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
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I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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