I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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