Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize