you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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