Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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